Being Home

Adjusting to life back at home was tough. We were warned that the worst culture shock of this trip would be returning home, and it is true.

The scariest person that I saw on this whole trip was in the Houston airport, while I was transferring flights on the way home. He was wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, denim jeans and a red flannel shirt covered by a Bud Light/Nascar jacket. He had a huge cross on his belt buckle. This was a 250 lb “Cowboy for Christ” type of guy. I don’t mean to slam Christians, it is just that hicks scare the shit out of me. I actually got up and moved to the other side of the terminal. Overreaction? Probably. But the fear was real!

I have heard stories of people going into deep boughts of depression after returning from SAS. I didn’t have anything that bad, but I definitely was lacking motivation for a lot of things. It was a real struggle to buckle down and learn about “maximum shearing stress theory” and other engineering curriculum. It just seemed very insignificant after what I had just done.

Having a cell phone and a constant schedule was also a shock. The computer and television are constantly trying to suck me in, and it is hard to resist.

The hardest thing for most people is not being able to be understood by people back at home. After such a powerful experience, everybody comes back very different, but things at home are still the same. People ask me about my trip, and they listen for about 40 seconds. Then their eyes glaze over, they start looking around, and change the subject to Paul and Suzan’s breakup or the new computer. It is hard when you realize that you are different now, and nobody gets it. I have been a bit of a lone wolf for most of my life, and I don’t need to constantly be understood, so it is not that hard for me to keep it to myself. I am also lucky to have met great friends on the ship that go to UCSB that I can talk with when I need to.

I was worried a bit when I saw how quickly I started to fall into my old habits. But after a while I realized that I will not be the same person I was. The old routine is so easy to follow, but it isn’t the end of the world. I have a new idea of who I want to be, but it doesn’t change over night. I don’t care how many new episodes of Lost or Sopranos you put in front of me, the flame that is in my belly is not going out! Things are good, and will only get better.