Crank Calling the mv Explorer

Being on a little boat for long periods of time, we had to find ways to entertain ourselves. We would do stuff like tie our arms together and try to escape, make peanut butter out of peanuts, and drink copious amounts of alcohol. Between the six of us we drank over one hundred beers in two nights.

The night we were docked on Sipan, we noticed the radio mounted on the wall in the cabin. We were feeling pretty good and were eager to harass somebody. Of course we had to crank call our ship docked in Dubrovnik. Danelle was worried about losing her job, and claimed no responsibility what-so-ever.

Ivan instructed us on the proper protocol for contacting another ship, and got us on the proper channel for the area. Aaron was able to get the mv Explorer on the line. Bingo! After picking a new channel, we were talking with somebody official sounding in the bridge. He asked the name of our ship. “This is the Facial Disgracial” responded Aaron. I would love to see the place in the logs where they recorded the time and place that they were contacted by the “Facial Disgracial.” Haha! He asked to talk to Captain Roman Christonovich, but the captain was out in town.

The mike was passed to me, and I asked to talk to the dean on duty. He asked who I was, and I responded with a quick “Academic Dean Phil Hearn” in my most academic dean sounding voice. There is such a disconnect between the crew and the faculty that they couldn’t even tell a punk kid from Phil Hearn. Hilarious. We waited for about ten minutes, while some crew member was running all over the ship looking for the Duty Dean. I’m sure they were paging over the ship-wide PA system as well.

All of the sudden a voice came over the radio. “Hey Phil, this is Debbie, what do you need?” In my Phil Hearn voice I clarified, “This is Debbie?” “Yeah Phil, it’s Debbie, what’s going on?” It was silent for about five seconds, and then in my best high-pitched Pillsbury doughboy voice I blurted out, “Hey Debbie, this is the Pillsbury doughboy! I got some hot sticky cinnamon buns coming fresh out the oven. Oooh here comes the frosting! Oh the raisons are sooo yummy, so much cinnamon! MM HMM!” She let out a little surprised laugh and didn’t say anything. The doughboy went on for a few more minutes, getting pretty crass, and she eventually hung up.

Our last day in Dubrovnik, Taylor and I ran into Debbie in an ice cream store and it was so hard to keep a straight face. Crank calling is so immature but it is so much fun.